no one believes that i am lonely.

and i haven't been able to draw at all recently! everything looks creepy and off somehow. i'm afraid the only way i can draw now is if i have a reference and i don't want it to be like that! i want to be able to draw on my own, too. i have nothing to do and i just want to cry but that would be unproductive, i guess.

i'm too embarrassed to tell anyone on tumblr or facebook but i'm just really sad all the time. it doesn't seem like it, so when i tell people as much they write it off as me joking around. but i was on the verge of tears all day for no reason and it was really stupid. i can't talk to people about it because it'll bother them or they won't believe me because i don't have anything to complain about. i just want friends, i want people to talk to or just give me company. i feel really alone. i know that's a very characteristic thing for a teenager to say, but that is how it is.